While, I must admit feeling embarrassment for constantly being in the same place I find myself, I decide to not be ashamed because if the gospel is the one thing I understand, then so be it. You may see that most of my posts are about the finished work of Jesus, a dependency on Him alone, yet I found myself and still find myself void of that understanding, as my emotions can’t seem to stick onto 1 page. I’ve learned recently, the importance of silencing and rejecting human emotion.

While I am not exhorting an ignorance of your feelings, no! I am saying to reject them when it comes to leading you throughout the day. For example, Romans 5: 3-5 KJV:

The gospel of our salvation is not just a one and done remembrance, but a daily necessity that keeps us in the faith.

I’ll explain with myself, sometimes I feel as though I am not saved, I feel as though I have no faith, I feel as though I am not doing enough, I feel as though the maturation of my faith is not getting completed. But I’ve learned that emotions are not a sentence, but a signal. And that faith is not a feeling, but a focus (Johnny Chang). Every time I wake up feeling far from God, I do tell Him, expressing myself fully, but then completely ignore myself, picking up Scripture. Now it sounds like an easy thing, but my experience has been anything but.

The most influential scripture I have been taught by the GRACE of God is Mathew 9: 28 KJV:

‘And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord. ‘

As Johnny Chang explained, it is not up to us to believe (contextually), therefore, creating belief for ourselves. It is Jesus’s job. And it is His belelief in us, and His faith that makes it MY FAITH!

‘For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?Romans 3:3 & ‘God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, And mightest overcome when thou art judged.” Romans 3:4 KJV

I stopped looking at me as creation or longevity of anything.

While I am aware we have a labor, a working, I am more aware that none of that can be completed by my own desire or grit to get it done, I can only say, “I will get it done because He gives me grace”. It’s a very difficult understanding when you have been conditioned as I am, to feel everything so deeply and to question everything. To trust in something that makes no practical sense, to be told in its entire form, “Have faith”. However, the scripture that completely terrifies me and breaks my heart into unbelief for just how narrow the way of the Lord is, has to be “And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” Matthew 7:23 KJV. I’d love to live my life walking on that which truly matters.¹ Not chasing vanity, walking in the way I should have walked². While I cannot express in purity my desire to just know God, I definitely choose it! Which is why the first verse I wrote, speaks so much to me. There is a love so grand for me, a love of receiving on our end, so grand that made the impossible, possible!³

How is it that Jesus said it would benefit us greater if He left and sent the Holy Spirit?⁴ If I were the disciples, I would fall into deep depression, having my best friend taken from me. Yet, I ponder it, how beneficial is it?

Índice

• 1 – Philippians 1: 10 NLT
• 2- Psalms 32: 8 KJV
• 3- John 11: 25 KJV
• 4- John 16: 7 KJV
• A final reference in a link, to the video by Johnny Chang explaining in further detail all I am trying to portray in this “spark notes version” post! hahahah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvkUpTFBWNc